old, dying kitty :(

I have a 19 year old cat, Orangie. Recently we found out that he had kidney disease and was anemic. I've done everything I could, 72 hours on fluids, sub-q fluids everyday, azodyl, epakitin, liquid-vitamins, antibiotics, blood transfusion (which didn't work as fast as we thought), epogen shots, k/d and n/f food, force feeding with a syringe when he dropped weight... I would pay anything to make him better, and I have been.I strongly believe in doing every possible to save an animal I accepted responsibility for. My vet called me today, his BUN level is at 230, creatinine at 16, phosphorus at 20. I understand he is going to die very soon, and I am no longer as of today set on prolonging his life, his kidneys have failed despite all of our efforts and it is irreversible now. My vet wants me to bring him to the hospital tomorrow to be put down. I am torturing myself over what to do. I've looked online for hours trying to find some source to give me real facts. I understand what it means to do this, to end their suffering. But is it the "best" choice. I love my baby more than I ever could have imagined, and I want him to feel safe and comfortable and loved. I want peace for him. To put him in my car and drive to a vet where he smells chemicals and other animals and hears cats meowing and dogs barking would only add to his confusion. I realize there is no way of knowing what the cat is going through exactly, but should I subject him to a death that I am not convinced is the best way for him to go? I don't know the pain of kidney disease, and theres no way of me knowing for sure how much pain he actually is in, if any, could he just be feeling a loss of control? of weakness? Please what are the pros and cons of euthanasia, and how do I decide whether to do this to him or let him stay at home and pass by his own means? As I said, this is my option as of today, and I need to make a decision very soon, any advice would be helpful. :(

if you knew you were dying would you want to wait till you were dehydrated and starving before you went? euthenasia is the best thing. If you let your cat go at home it could take days of suffering. I worked at a the humane society of north pinellas for 4 years and saw alot of suffering. I now work at a vets office and it hurts me to see these animals being "treated" for things that is just extending their lives for a few days just so the owners can tell themselves that they did all they can. That is the normal reaction of a pet owner. But... are they doing it for the animal or themselves? Let your baby go.. the humane way. It is your decision and that is my opinion. You will be ok with it when you know you have done the right thing. thinking of you and your family, steph

Jenny, you have done everything humanely possible for your guy. Now, with a clear conscience you need to let him go. If you don't want to take him to the vet's, ask if they will come to your home. If not, look in the phone book to see if there is a mobile vet in your area.
   
You have my deepest sympathy, as making the decision to euthanize is never easy. But in your cat's case it is the very best decision.