I loved him so...........

The trees outside my fence have turned that really really pink color. They, I guess, are cherry trees. Overnight, they went from bare to totally flowered. And I find myself mourning my Beau. He died in the Spring. He died in June when the flowers were very red though. But, still, I feel the season coming upon me that will make it two years since his death. I know that many cannot understand taking a dog's death so very very hard. Before this I would have felt the same. I would have thought it eccentric and strange. But, I miss Beau like you would miss the person you loved most in the world. Like you would miss the greatest love you had ever known way too soon to death. Like you would LONG to touch them once again. This dog and I had a mutual love. The depth of which astounds me. It hurts. Just saying his name can be so very difficult. I will probably never get over him. And I will miss him terribly until the day I die. I tried getting other dogs. Both experiences were disasters. All I know is for the rest of my life all I need to do is hear or say the name Beau and I go into almost a trance. Beeeaauuu. The greatest love in my life is dead and I cannot bear it now nor do I think I will ever be able to do so. It remains as painful now as it did the day he died. Oh my God. I loved him so. Robyn

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how it feels. My mom lost her cat and basically went comatose for 4 weeks. She still misses him greatly and that was over 10 years ago now. I am sure Beau loved you as much as you loved him but if he can see you (and I believe he can) he would not want to see you hurting like this. You will see him again, you just have to be pacient. Until then think of all the great times you had with him and how lucky you were in the first place to have those special times with such a wonderful creature. Alot of people never get that special bond. The first thing when looking for another animal is to know you will not find Beau in any of them. They are all going to be totally diffent. If you are looking for another animal maybe you can try going with a totally different species. You have had a wonderfull conection with one why not something new? Birds, cats, even caged animals like ferrets and rabits can become a very important member of one's family. Hope this helps some. You gave Beau a wonderfull life and a wonderful shot in a pretty bad world, you can be very proud of that.

Robyn...Mourning a beloved pet has many stages. Some of them last a short time, some of them a lifetime. Sometimes talking about the pain you feel goes a long way towards helping you heal. Since I don't know where you live, I've put in a link to a Google page which lists grief support groups for pet owners in the state of Oregon. You may be able to find a trained counselor to talk to on the phone, or even a group you can join and share your feelings. It took me a long, long time to once again have that special bond with another dog. But it did happen, and I love him beyond measure.
   
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